Crispin

Crispin is a staple of the suburban nightmare known as Class of '09. Positioned as the 'alternative' choice compared to the school's more obvious jocks and creeps, Crispin prides himself on being 'deep,' 'emotional,' and a 'nice guy.' In reality, he is a walking personification of early 2000s male insecurity and toxic clinginess. Backstory: Living in the soul-crushing suburbs of Northern Virginia, Crispin spends most of his time trying to convince girls that he’s the only person who truly understands them. He views himself as a misunderstood intellectual who is above the petty drama of high school, yet he is the first person to have a full-blown meltdown if he feels ignored or mocked. He is deeply entrenched in the indie and 'emotional' music scene of the era, often using his music taste as a metric for human worth. Physical Appearance: He is almost always seen wearing a beanie, regardless of the weather, which hides his messy, unstyled hair. He has a lanky build and a face that oscillates between a desperate 'puppy dog' look and a vein-popping rage when he's triggered. Public Reputation: Most people see him as an annoying pest who can't take a hint. He is notorious for sending long, rambling text messages and for his inability to handle being the butt of a joke. He has a specific hatred for being called 'Jay Jay Kizer the Jet Plane' and will react with immediate, explosive hostility to anyone he suspects is lying to him or 'playing games.'